Serial Saturday

by Zelde

Chapter 2

A hum, like a deep vibration, stirring the dust on the ground.

Floating.

No, a hum like a solo hymn being sung in a chapel far, far away thru the rain.

On nothing.

Moving closer then, like the sound of the Deeprun Tram coming down the tunnel.

The stir of the air.

Fast. Too fast. Louder, deeper, higher, a crescendo to a shrill note.

Falling.

Faster and faster, then suddenly, “whump”, hard ground, packed with pine needles, smashed into Gimmlette’s cheek and all was still.

“What in the name of Bronzebeard…,” she said as she opened her eyes.

Then she stopped short as she saw, mere inches from her face, a pair of lightly-worn, deep purple silken slippers. This however, wasn’t what stopped her. It was more that said slippers were floating about a foot above the forest floor to which her cheek had been recently introduced. Before she could look up to determine the source of said footwear, she let her eyes focus to a stone’s throw away where a paladin was sitting cross-legged, holding a flask to his lips with one hand and rubbing his temples with the other.

“Junas! By your blessed, shiny, armor-plated butt…what happened?”

The reply came from above, though, peppered with a light chuckle. “Don’t mind him, boss, that’s just some of the old ginnintonix to help restore that new-Paladin shine! I hear the trip back from the great beyond can, er, take it right out of ya. By the way, what the heck used you for punching bags?”

Before Gimmlette could reply, Superkind joined them, sailing thru the air in a beam of light to Junas’ feet.

“Would you mind getting  Skippy, too, Mr. My-Gear-Is-Slightly-Better?” snarked the voice from above. Junas made a gesture that translated quite well from common into Dwarvish and just about every other language on Azeroth and beyond.

Suddenly nosed over onto her back by a reluctant but affectionate truckload of bear, Gimmlette looked up at an extended hand, attached to a not-especially ascetic-looking young lady dressed in the yet unmistakable garb and comforting aura of a priest.

“What day is it? Where the hell are we? Where have you BEEN?” the dwarf boiled over, regaining her air of leadership.

With a mock half-bow, the priest replied, ticking off the answers on her fingers, “Sunday, Elwynn and missing all the fun, apparently!”

Zelde lazily tossed a few bolts of swirling light at the cloud of dust and sparkling light that hopefully contained a confused but no longer dead Skipperdo. The gnome looked about him, blinking in the bright noon-time sunlight. “Oh, I see how it is. First to die, last to get rezzed,” he said morosely.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Zelde laughed. “So want to tell me what decided to rearrange your atoms on this fine day?”

The group looked at each other.

“Hogger,” Gimmlette said flatly. “The rumors are true.”

Zelde took a deep breath and then looked back over her shoulder with that inextinguishable grin. “Wanna go hunt some gnoll? It’ll be fun.”

Skipperdo looked down at the crumpled hat in his hands. He massaged the brim but the deep creases would not go away.

“Fun. Yes,” he said ruefully. “You have a very sick sense of fun, Zel.”

Junas chuckled, “She’s always been like that.”

“Hey guys?” Gimmlette called as she rummaged through the grass at the base of the tree. “Ursa, you’re no help,” and she pushed the devoted bear aside. “How many gems got knocked off my stuff and do I have them all?”

Zelde dropped to the ground and began scrounging with Gimmlette through the flattened grass. Superkind came over to help after tossing his raptor a chunk of meat. Xlii roared happily and began chewing on the feast.

“Well, stand up and let’s count. What has gems in it?” he asked, looking down kindly at the dwarf. He massaged his own chest. He was one-shotted, by a gnoll. The numbers didn’t add up. He had more health than Gimmlette, yet she lasted through 2 swipes. He had been one-shotted.

But then he remembered the look. Those eyes. Something about those eye right before…He shuddered involuntarily.

“Okay shorty. Either Super’s going to have to get on his knees to see your armor or we’re going to have to give you a lift,” said Zelde with a laugh. She spoke some words, made some gestures and Gimmlette was levitated a foot off the ground. Superkind laughed.

“I still have to kneel down,” he laughed. “Dwarves are too, well, dwarven.”

He knelt down and patted Gimmlette on the head. The look on her face said it all. There would be snowballs later when he least expected it.

“I should have gems in my helm, my chest and my belt,” Gimmlette said, running her hands over the dented chest piece. “Oh Super, you have a gash.”

She pointed to the opening across the chest that started just below his right shoulder and ran diagonally about 10 inches. Junas came over to look.

“Cripes. How the hell is Hogger strong enough to do that or this?” He held up his shield which was in 2 pieces. “We’re going to have to repair for sure.”

“I concur,” said a grouchy voice down by everyone’s knees. Zelde levitated Skipperdo. “I simply cannot get the brim of my hat to lie flat anymore. Portal to Stormwind folks?” Skipperdo began to chant the magic that bent space.

“Wait!” Gimmlette wailed. “My gems! I only have 2!” She opened her hands where she held the topaz for the belt buckle and the King’s Amber for her chest.

Superkind touched her helm. “Gimm, the other two stayed put. You’re good. Let’s get repaired and stock up on some liquids. We have a gnoll to seek and destroy.”

“The Skipperdo Space Warp is open and ready for business,” Skipperdo announced.

“Hey, let’s meet at the Boar and Flower…” began Junas.

“You mean Pig and Whistle,” interjected Gimmlette, who had removed her helm and was looking it over carefully.

“Yeah, whatever the name is. You dwarves know the bars better than me. Anyway, let’s meet there after we repair. Maybe spend some time asking around. See if anyone else has fought this guy and what they did. In a couple hours? Will that work? Great. See you then. This repair bill is gonna hurt.” And Junas jumped through the portal to Stormwind.

Serial Saturday

by Gimmlette

Chapter One continued

Gimmlette felt in her pockets for her special trinkets, clicked them and unloaded shot after shot. Although she favored guns, the motion to use this bow had become second nature to her. Saronite Razorheads cut the air with a slight singing sound. Hogger was starting to resemble a porcupine. Gimmlette used her entire shot arsenal. She fired in easy rotation, pumping out the maximum she could while feeling her health slowly ebbing even with the health potion infusion. UrsaMajor’s extra attack also passed and he was back to his usual swiping.

Having killed Skipperdo, the beast turned his attention to the dwarf, as she was now closest. With a roar, which became a fear to the horrified travelers and which sent the bear and raptor fleeing, he charged. Gimmlette scarce had time to pull her weapon and take a swing when another swish of Hogger’s arm sent her flying towards a tree. She hit the tree with such force that gems from her armor were dislodged and fell, along with her lifeless body, to the ground.

Junas struggled to his feet. “Super, this shouldn’t be happening,” he yelled.

“I know,” shouted the night elf who was emptying more ammo into this mob than he’d ever shot at anything before. Every special shot he could think of had been used. He’d gone through his trinkets twice already. Hogger was still standing. This shouldn’t be.

Junas again charged, lowering his shield in a very unpaladin –like bull rush. The force of the impact of Junas running full into Hogger was like a demolition ball hitting a brick wall. Stars filled Junas’ head and he sank to his knees.

Hogger paid the paladin no mind. Superkind couldn’t believe that the force of Junas’ charge hadn’t even stunned the gnoll. Arrows from Gimmlette were sticking out all over his shoulders, upper arms and back. Bite marks from UrsaMajor and Xlii oozed blood. Hogger turned his maleficent gaze on Superkind and Superkind realized whatever Hogger was drinking had made him something not of this world. Those eyes. There was something about those eyes.

Superkind pulled out Marrowstrike as the beast leaped toward him. He swung and the blade ripped across Hogger’s chest. “Now that’s a serious wound,” Superkind thought. He leaped sideways to avoid the reactionary swing of the wounded monster. Another swing from Marrowstrike went across the back. Hogger howled as the blade cut another swath through those enhanced muscles. “For Spectacular Death!” Superkind yelled. He jumped backwards, whipped out his gun and fired again. From behind him, he heard a shaky voice say, “We got…this…one, right?”

“God, I hope so,” Superkind hollered back.

Hogger paused. He flexed his wounded body. He eyed the shaky paladin clearing the cobwebs from his mind and the tall elf who was unscathed and simply pouring rounds of ammunition into his body. He roared and Xlii fled in terror again.

“Junas? Did Hogger have the ability to fear?”

“I can’t remember what day it is and you’re asking me if he ever had fear? How the hell should I know? I’m wounded. We got to get this guy down.”

Hogger leaped the fence and charged Superkind in a motion so fluid, it was like water running over rocks. Superkind whipped out Marrowstrike but Hogger was too quick. He grabbed the weapon and broke it in two. Superkind attempted to jump backwards into gun range but the monster grabbed him by one arm and raked him across the chest with the other.  Superkind clutched his shattered armor and chest, looked at Junas and pitched forward.

“Shit,” said Junas as he watched the night elf crumple to the ground. “Okay, you mound of gnoll poop. It’s you and me now.”

Junas prepared himself. He was fairly certain he had more life in him than the thing in front of him. Even so, Junas scrounged in his bag for a health potion. Crap. He’d given his last one to Squidchin when they were fighting in Naxxramas. It had saved the day against Maxxena but he’d forgotten to restock. Oh well, he could take this thing, he was certain he could.

Junas looked at his shield. It was bent and battered. The magic in it was still sound and crackled with a ferocity that reassured him. He could see Hogger was sizing him up and preparing a charge. Junas got into defensive stance. His “oh crap” spell of last resort was available and was probably going to be used.

Hogger roared, lowered his shoulder and charged. Adeptly, Junas waited until the last minute and then stepped aside. The monster crashed through the fence and hit the tree where Gimmlette’s lifeless body lay. The concussion knocked a couple of squirrels off their vantage point above the path.

Hogger didn’t seem as dazed as he should have been. He paused for a second, shook his head, turned and, from his pant leg, drew a sword. It gleamed in the morning sun. Obviously it had been enchanted but this was no ordinary enchant. It was black. It swirled about the blade alternately showing and then hiding the edge. This wasn’t the “Executioner” enchant, the enchant Gimmlette loved simply for its looks. It was as if a void circled about the blade. Whoever was feeding Hogger the drugs had also given him a weapon of incredible power.  But for what reason?

Junas became aware that Hogger was chuckling. He was laughing at him. Hogger’s chuckle made his skin crawl. Junas stood up to his full 6’ height, grabbed his shield and flung it at Hogger.  The shield clanged off the side of the beast’s head, momentarily dazing him. Junas took the opportunity to charge and succeeded in knocking the beast off his feet. He jumped backwards onto the road to have level ground for the fight of his life. Hogger recovered and leaped after him. With the shield returned, Junas raised his left arm to fend off the blow he knew was coming. The air went dead still and time seemed to go in achingly slow motion. Hogger dropped the full force of this swing onto the shield which crumbled as if it was made of paper.

Junas cried out in pain, a pain he didn’t remember ever feeling before and he’d felt pain a lot. There was something else to this pain. Junas swung at Hogger. He felt his sword connect and then stick. Hogger wrenched the sword from Junas’ hand and tossed it aside. Junas felt the left side of his body almost melt. He staggered. Black circles swirled around on the ground.

“Must…get…out…of…circles,” he heard himself say. “Lay…on…hands…must…cast…”

Hogger grabbed the paladin and lifted him above his head. He walked back up the road 50 feet to where a bridge crossed a small stream. In an easy, effortless motion, he hurled Junas at the bridge causing him to fall onto and across the side. Junas tumbled onto the road.

“This…can’t…be…happening,” he thought. “If…only…we…had…a…priest,” and the world went dark.

Serial Saturday

By Gimmlette

(Several years ago, I started this work of fan fiction involving the members of Spectacular Death. It's languished in the guild forums ever since. Many of the names contained in the story no long play WOW. Weekends can be quiet so here is presented, like the serialized stories of old, our guild story entitled, "If Only...")

Chapter One

There we were, minding our own business; Skipperdo, Superkind, Junas and Gimmlette; taking a stroll through Elwynn Forest. It was a lovely sunny morning and we were on our way to Westfall, as we heard some horde were making life miserable for lowbies just trying to find Goretusks with livers.

Suddenly, a long, low growl came from our left and Superkind was uncatted (He doesn't ride a horse) by a figure covered in tattered clothing and smelling like last week's meatloaf. Being an agile night elf, Superkind was able to tumble nimbly away from his attacker, but we were shocked to see it was...

HOGGER!

This was no ordinary Hogger, at least not the one who terrified us in our level 10 dreams. Sweat glistened off his fur. His muscles rippled with anticipation and excitement. And what muscles these were. It was clear the rumors were true. Hogger was taking performance enhancers, probably courtesy of the alchemists in Undercity.

Junas reined his horse and whirled it around, jumping off in one fluid motion. The ground crackled with the bright light of a spell and Hogger's attention turned immediately to the paladin running toward him. Superkind's raptor appeared instantly by his master's side and roared angrily, charging into combat. Superkind leveled his gun and aimed squarely at the broad backside of the beast. He fired, hitting Hogger with a blast that echoed off the nearby Westfall Brigade Tower.

Gimmlette and Skipperdo stopped their mounts as Junas raced backwards past them. They quickly dismounted and watched as Hogger started to grow in size and turn blood red. Enraged! Oh lord! Who knows what was in that stuff he was rumored to be drinking? This wasn't good.

UrsaMajor, Gimmlette's bear, charged into combat, adding a ferocious stomp to Junas' spell. The usually effective bear stun vanished as quickly as it came. Gimmlette loaded a magicked arrow and sent a tranquilizing shot toward the enraged gnoll. The maddened mob turned his attention on the dwarf. How dare she remove his carefully planned enrage. Ignoring the paladin and his perfectly timed blows, Hogger charged the dwarf. Her eyes grew large in terror and she attempted to feign death, but not before Hogger swung one muscled arm in her direction, sending her flying into the fence opposite her position. That taste...oh dear...that was blood. Lie still. Gather her wits. Think.

Skipperdo sized up the situation. This was not the Hogger we all laughed about in the Pig and Whistle in Stormwind. This was an unholy Hogger; a Hogger sent by Arthas himself to pillage and plunder. Elwynn must be purged of such a fiendish beast. While Hogger was occupied with Junas, Skipperdo began reciting to a very ancient yet reliable spell. When the beast charged Gimmlette and threw her against the fence, a blast of arcane magic shot from Skipperdo's fingers. Hogger howled as the purplish bluish magic engulfed him, singeing his fur. Skipperdo froze the beast in place and followed with a barrage of arcane missiles, shooting from his outstretched hands.

Gimmlette struggled to her feet, half her health gone. Superkind was pumping shot into the monster and it was still standing. Why? It was just Hogger. Junas charged the frozen-in-place gnoll and the ice melted around his feet. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Junas bashed Hogger with his shield, the magic from the shield cracking the air. Hogger roared, grabbed Junas by the shield and shoved him backwards. Junas slid along the ground, carving a small trench in the roadway.

Hogger turned towards the mage. "Um...guys," Skipperdo said shakily, "I don't like the look in his eyes." Hogger let out a massive roar and charged the gnome. Skipperdo, waiting until the last possible second, "blinked", showing up on the other side of the roadway. The smoke from moving so fast swirled around his hat. More arcane missiles leaped at Hogger who crashed through the fence where Skipperdo had been standing.

Suddenly, the missiles stopped. "Uh oh...out of mana," Skipperdo wailed. He took off running down the road toward the tower. "I'll go get help while my mana regenerates."

Gimmlette quickly downed a Super Health Potion and rued not swinging by the bank before leaving Stormwind to make some Runic Health Potions, as she was all out of them. She spoke some words and UrsaMajor grew to twice his size. The bear let loose a deafening roar and swiped at the gnoll. Superkind's raptor raked and clawed and chomped. To everyone's horror, however, Hogger ignored the pets and leaped after the fleeing gnome, landing squarely on top of Skipperdo. There was a groan and then nothing; no twitch, no sound. Skipperdo's hat crumpled across his face.

(To be continued...)